What is a solo mom?

It can hurt when your family doesn't look like you hoped. It can hurt even more when your circumstances are unseen, ignored, or worse yet, criticized by your family, friends, and church.

“Solo Moms are… single moms, moms with joint custody, grandmothers who parent their grandchildren, and moms whose partners are deployed, disabled, or incarcerated. Solo Moms are moms whose partners are on the road a lot or living abroad, leaving them to do most of the parenting. Solo Moms are mothers on their own, whether by choice or circumstance….Above all, every Solo Mom wants to be the best mother she /can be, despite the challenges of parenting on her own.”

– Marika Lindholm Founder of Esme.com

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Esme does an excellent job of being inclusive in their description, and yet they still leave the Christian Married Solo Mom just a little outside the circle. While some of us may indeed have a husband who is deployed, disabled, incarcerated, travelling for work, or living abroad, there are still others whose husband is home every night, or every weekend, and still leaves the child rearing almost exclusively to mom. There are those who are wives of addiction, abuse, or neglect; wives of pastors, missionaries, or clergy who are viewed by all as “the perfect example,” yet leave their families wanting more. And the description above does not even begin to touch the contemporary Christian culture that assumes that when there are two parents present in a home, that there are two invested and emotionally present people attempting to partner together in raising their children.

These days we see a lot of emphasis placed on the “nuclear family,” which means more pressure to appear perfect as a family unit. Maybe you’ve been hiding the reality of family life behind closed doors. Maybe you’ve been smiling through your pain as you have to explain to yet another well-meaning small group leader why your husband won’t be joining you. Or maybe you are just tired of doing it all…. Alone.

this is where we come in

We understand that solo motherhood is as nuanced and different as the individuals that are in it. We understand that by nature, our Christian faith makes this slightly more complex and gut-wrenching, and that mothering alone while married carries with it the hidden heartache of unmet expectations.

Does this mean that single mothers aren’t welcome here? That we don’t accept those of other beliefs and backgrounds? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It just means that we also see those who have been overlooked in this category for too long, and that we will not apologize for including them! It means that we will talk about Jesus and what He desires for us in this season and in this life. And what of the Mosaic part? Well, that’s what we choose to call our village. Just as the individual tiles in mosaic art are unique in themselves and make up a beautifully cohesive picture when added together, we are all unique and individual, and collectively we are one. We are a circle, a sisterhood, a society, the Family of God. And although we may each go about it differently, we all have the same goal: to be the woman and mother God has called us to be. 

We are the Solo Mom Mosaic!

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Hi! I'm Jess,

I was sitting in church one Sunday, pre-COVID with tears streaming down my face. The chairs were packed, but nobody offered me a tissue, and nobody asked if I was ok. On the screen a father swung his little boy around like Superman, while Chainsmoker’s “Something Just Like This” played through the speakers. I remember thinking about my husband who was at home, instead of the seat next to me, my parents over 1000 miles away, and the people hanging out together after service that I would walk by with envy. Just like you, I understand the feeling of being lonely in a crowded room. I know what it’s like to live in a family that people assume is great from the outside, but inside you feel isolated, divided and alone. Without a strong sense of community or resources, I was not doing a great job of parenting my children or taking care of myself.

Fast forward a few months, I knew something had to change. I had been numbing out on Netflix & brownies for too long, So I packed my 2 toddlers, a camp stove and a cooler into my minivan and we set off for Canada. For 6 weeks we had adventures and made new friends. Sick of hearing people talk about doing life together, I decided to figure out how to actually BE in community.

I went from being isolated, to seen; from divided, to living in the sweet spot, where my kids and I functioned as a team, but most of all, I learned how to build a community. After a few years, many adventures and hard lessons, I went from a Solo Mom to a warrior mom, with an army behind me. During this journey I have gained certification in Mental Health Coaching from the AACC, and realized that I had actually been creating and impacting communities around me for years.  Through my work in dog training, teaching ESL, and interior design based on human psychology, as well as from the school of hard knocks, I have picked up strategies and techniques that I now use to help you on your own solo-motherhood journey.

I don’t want to just give you platitudes about building boundaries and getting involved in a small group; I want to give you actionable step-by-step instructions for how to show up authentically and build your village.

Who’s in?